IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

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Ashley Tutt PA

My life is Murphy’s law

This blog has been sent back to adminstration for administrative purposes.

I, for one, will be very interested how the Colonel responds to this request for appraisal. He has a very short attention span and might find the vast quantity of words that this blog uses rather soporific particularly after a heavy lunch and way too many brandies. Unfortunately the author of ‘My life is Murphy’s law’ would appear to be rather attractive and the Colonel might follow something other than his need to sit down and take a little nap.

Ashley Tutt PA

A damned handsome woman – robust and forthright. Verbosity and exuberance are not crimes in the United Kingdom as yet so we shall concentrate on this womans firm attributes. If she can leave her apparent dalliance with that infernal Papersurfer chap to one side then approval shall be granted. Although I fear a periodic personal interview may be necessary to keep abreast of the situation.

Approved.

Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

Polliwog’s pond

Awaiting our usual discernment and expertise.

Oooooooooooooooo ……………………pink! I think you’ll have trouble with the colonel over this one Miss Polliwog. I wore pink the other day and was told to take it off straight away.

Ashley Tutt PA

Don’t worry Miss Polliwog I wouldn’t be so brash with anyone other than staff. Your blog is straining the reins of mediocrity and as we don’t deal in tiaras a certificate will have to suffice. Anyone who can survive on a tiny island with a plethera of children needs all the encouragement they can get! May I suggest that if you wish to spend more time developing your blog that you encourage some of your offspring (if not all) to attend boarding school – it never did me any harm – look where I ended up! Membership approved.

Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

Miss adventure continues

Blog evaluation department currently under evaluation. Delays to be evaluated.

Take no notice of the Colonel Miss Adventure – we take our duties seriously.

Miss Adventure is obviously well traveled and falls under the category of ‘a goer’. The rules, as far as I recall, mean automatic endorsement. The Colonel might pull me up on this.

Ashley Tutt PA

Unfortunately for Miss Adventure being ‘a goer’ was only a pre-requisite for employment not for blog approval. However, besides the piercing headache that her font colour has given me, I find nothing hugely offensive about the ramblings of a ex-pat Kiwi trying to better herself by moving to Europe and at times I found her youthful antics slightly amusing. Approved.

Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

I am woman, see me blog

Due to the recent bank holiday in Argentina there will be a short delay before evaluation commences.

This is my type of blog. The world as seen by a sensitive and perceptive woman. However, there have been attempts recently to lead the writer astray. The resistance has been minimal which is disappointing yet fascinating.

As soon as the Colonel returns from where ever he says he’s been, I’ll push for an endorsement.

Ashley Tutt PA

Well as Ms Tutt has expounded upon this ladies virtues and I can’t muster the energy to read past the title then I suppose a membership is to be issued. I’ve just returned from a rather distressing meeting with the chairlady of the geriatric poledancers association so need some quality time with my Scotch collection. Blog approved.

Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

Papersurfer

It has come to my attention that ‘Papersurfer’ has been displaying a counterfeit WBC badge and certificate in areas of his so called blog. He has also made false claims to being the ‘president’ of the WBC.

This is a council NOT a dictatorship and if anybody disagrees I will have them flogged (don’t fret Ms Tutt – you are exempt from all forms of torture).

So on these grounds and also bearing in mind his blogging skills wouldn’t get him through the first round of the Eurovision Blog contest (details to be announced later this year) his application has been rejected.

Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

A little harsh I feel but let it act as a warning to others. This is no laughing matter.

Ashley Tutt PA

Staff vacancies

We are currently snowed under with an enormous waiting list of reviews and are therefore opening staff vacancies to help with this arduous but fulfilling task. The work is gruelling and thankless but on the upside is very poorly paid. All applications to be filed in the personnel department please.

And as the world turns

Review suspended due to enormous backlog of applications (2).

I believe that when a lady reaches a certain age she should remove certain ideas from her repertoire of thought – she should respect herself and others by maintaining a standard of communication that reaches well above gutter level. For these reasons I am finding it very hard to find a position in our respectable organisation for her smut and innuendo. Having said that – she has a lovely looking pussy.

Application accepted.

Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

Simon Cowell was a saint? Oh dear, if only I had some power in this organisation. I do like cats though, and she does sound like a cat. Endorsed.

Ashley Tutt PA

Bagwine Ruminations

Evaluation delayed due to important WBC business involving several golf clubs, the 19th hole and a decanter of rather splendid port.

I think this may be part of the ‘brighter fresher feel’ that the WBC is trying to instigate. I’m sorry but I find this incessant rambling, sexual innuendo and photographs of fridge contents difficult to fathom. Apparently the rest of the world thinks he’s very funny so I expect he’ll get a certificate if anybody remembers to mail it – personally I’m off to the Coach and Horses for a stiff gin and a game of Bridge.

Approval granted.

Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE

I did enjoy playing with the monkey – I made it wiggle.

This man needs all the help he can get. We aim to help social misfits and Bag Wine ticks all the boxes. Endorsed.

Ashley Tutt PA

Sensibilities

Blog being reviewed. Or we are at lunch. Or neither.

Well it seems to me that Ms Moll could benefit from a good night out in a seedier part of town. Her unhealthily excessive interest in literature and bougainvilleas is rather distressing.

My advice – go out, get drunk with some marines then write a post when you’ve been released from custody or as soon as sobriety dawns.

Having said that – I am advised that we should be promoting an interest in reliable observation of the arts.

So this blog is approved.

Thoroughly approved actually. The lack of culture was beginning to show. I fear that the Colonel had one too many brandies after dinner – it makes him mince but not his words.

Ashley Tutt PA